By Spike Milligan
'At Victoria station the R.T.O. gave me a commute warrant, a white feather and an image of Hitler marked 'This is your enemy'. I searched each compartment, yet he wasn't at the train'. Spike Milligan's at the march, blitzing good friend and foe alike together with his uproarious memories of military existence from enlistment to the touchdown at Algiers in 1943. Bathos, pathos and gales of drunken laughter, and insane army goonery explode in superlative Milliganese.
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Additional resources for Adolf Hitler: My Part in his Downfall (War Memoirs Vol. 1)
It’s all Bexhill’s bloody fault,” said Chalky White. Eventually the eye-pieces on Suitcase’s gas mask steamed up: he removed it and looked at his watch. “Well, I think that’s enough,” he said. “Parade dismiss Sarn’t-Major,” and we all trooped off to bed. F. Pilots. It made you green with envy on leave. All the beautiful birds went out with pilots. I couldn’t stand it any more. I volunteered for the Air Force. I had to be interviewed by Leather Suitcase. ” “No, what I said was, have you ever flown before.
We were a quartet! After a month’s practice, Captain Martin asked could we play for a dance. ” GAD’ this was the big time! Saturday, The Old Town Church Hall, Bexhill! who knows next week, Broadway! In entertainment starved Bexhill, the dance was a sell-out. The old corrugated iron Hall was packed to suffocation; there were old women. kids, officers, gunners, various wives, very much a village dance affair. After twenty minutes we had exhausted our repertoire, so we started again. I suppose playing ‘Honeysuckle Rose’ forty times must be some kind of a record.
Leather Suitcase as usual gave him fourteen days, and he was remanded for a psychiatrist’s report. “I don’t like the uniform,” Neat told the psychiatrist. ” “It’s dangerous. ” The report said: “There is nothing wrong with this man. ” “Right,” said Leather Suitcase. ” “Look sir,” said Neat, hopefully. ” “Finished? Right! ” Nead stood tottering for a moment. ” This got him another fourteen daps on top of the fifty-six. After this he was posted. Where to? The Tower Armoury. Gunner Herman Frick was our hypochondriac.